Author: Bob Adamcik

Reflecting on my past…

…the realization I could have lived different lives is only now becoming real to me.  The one I chose (or that chose me, whether by fear or fate or circumstance), is only this I know. Even as I write this, I only now understand Frost: “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood…”.  The question is, what would I have become in a different life, under different choices or different circumstances? I say that remembering the controlled chaos of family life as a boy and teen, how much I liked it and wanted the same. But no, I’ve grown instead into someone solitary who prefers, even needs, long silences. Obviously, the “me” I am today was always there, waiting. But reflecting, I don’t think he was the only one. Perhaps, as in the proverb about the two dogs, I grew into the one I fed.   But there were more “me’s” than just the one other. I know because, as I’ve grown older, I’ve begun to see their shadows. They drift just beyond my vision or consciousness, lamenting their own unrealized dreams.  ...

Read More

Will the last to go please turn out the lights…

I once heard author Jared Diamond speak about his book “Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed.” As he was addressing Easter Island, a once forested isle that was eventually denuded by its inhabitants (leading to their demise), Diamond wondered aloud about the last tree. What must the guy who cut it down have been thinking? Now, as the global human population exceeds seven billion, and we watch real and potential cataclysm unfold around us—civil war, collapse of ocean and tropical ecosystems, global warming, storms and floods, the emergence of new pathogens, nuclear holocaust—I can’t help but  ponder the eventual extinction of our species. And I can’t help but wonder what it will be like for the last man or woman left...

Read More

Maybe he was just bored…

Authorities are having trouble with motive behind the Las Vegas shooter.  None of the usual apply.  Here’s a comfortable white guy, no criminal history or history of violence, relatively wealthy, stable, has a girlfriend.  Not political or religious, not angry.  So why did he do it?  Maybe they’re looking too hard. Maybe the truth is more frightening yet.  Instead of fringe, maybe he was mainstream.  Maybe, like the masses, he was just bored....

Read More

I’m reading “Straw Dogs,” by John Gray…

…and he is describing the fiction of the self, the fictive self. He posits that life is really only a series of discreet but connected perceptions tied together by the capacity for reflection we call consciousness. The crux of his view is that the self I think of as me does not exist. It is an illusion. Instead, I am only a series of analog moments that came about through subconscious stimulus-response reactions. What we attribute to decisions, whether the habitual decisions of living day-to-day or ethical decisions based on some moral code, are really responses to ingrained genetic, biological and cultural programming. Nor do I remember more than a nanoscopic (my word) subset of the responses I have made. Indeed, those conscious moments I have assembled into a “self” are only the few I actually recall, whether by choice or otherwise. As such, this illusory self has neither a future nor a past (as we tend to think of these), and never has had. Instead, we exist (we, that is, as in our thoughts, not our physical bodies) only moment to moment. Our construction of those moments into a past, like our projection of them into a future, is only an unconscious intellectual exercise.  [Note: Gray does not say this (maybe because he didn’t think if it), but he makes me think of Alzheimer’s patients…of whom we often...

Read More

I’m reading “Straw Dogs,” by John Gray…

…and he is describing the fiction of the self, the fictive self. He posits that life is really only a series of discreet but connected perceptions tied together by the capacity for reflection we call consciousness. The crux of his view is that the free-willed self I think of as me does not exist. It is an illusion, perhaps a defensive one. Instead, I am only a series of analog moments that came about through subconscious stimulus-response reactions. What we attribute to decisions of free will are more often than not the result of ingrained genetic, biological and cultural programming. Nor do I remember more than a nanoscopic (my word) subset of the responses I have made. Indeed, those conscious moments I have assembled into a “self” are only the few I actually recall, whether by choice or otherwise. As such, this illusory self has neither a future nor a past (as we tend to think of these), and never has had. Instead, we exist only moment to moment. Our construction of those moments into a past, like our projection of them into a future, is only an unconscious intellectual exercise. Gray’s point is that we think we are free-willed and sentient beings consciously choosing our paths. But to him, free will is a chimera. Our actions are programmed by eons of prehuman and human evolution to react to...

Read More

On significance (or lack thereof)…

Remember Genesis 1:28? “…God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.'” As I write, the remnants of Harvey continue to wreak havoc in southeast Texas. Even as I sympathize, I remember the adage, “There but for chance…”.  My own home on a hill won’t flood, and we don’t get hurricanes in Tennessee. But tornados? Hail storms? Fire and lightning? As a certain ex-governor would say, “You betcha!” Harvey reminds us how wrong-headed we are about nature. Consciously or not, Genesis 1:28 still holds sway in Judeo-Christian and related cultures. But thinking we are in charge of anything is laughable. The lessons just keep coming: Chinese floods, 1931: 3.7 million to 4 million dead. Galveston Hurricane, 1900: 6,000-12,000 dead. Spanish influenza, 1918-1920: 50 to 100 million dead. Bhola Cyclone, modern Bangladesh, 1970: 500,000 dead. Indian Ocean tsunami, 2004: 230,000 dead. Haiti earthquake, 2010: 50,000 to 200,000 dead, depending on sources. Hurricane Katrina, 2005: $108B damages. Tōhuko earthquake and tsunami (i.e., Fukushima), 2011: $300B in damages. Superstorm Sandy, 2012: $75B damages. Hurricane Harvey, 2017: possibly $190B, per USA Today And what’s on the horizon? In the U. S. alone, we’ve yet to flood Biloxi or Miami or...

Read More

Review of “the soul to the marionette: a short inquiry into human freedom,” by John gray

Uber-marionettes do not have to wait until they can fly before they can be free. Not looking to ascend into the heavens, they can find freedom in falling to earth. — John Gray, in “The Soul of the Marionette: A Short Inquiry Into Human Freedom.” (Farrah, Straus and Giroux, New York. 2015) From the title, one might expect Gray’s book to explore the concept of free will. But it does not, at least not directly. It is much more than that. Instead, the author explores a central premise of all modern religions: the idea that we can know who we are, from whence we come, the meaning of life and death. Or that, not knowing, we can somehow find out. His backdrop for the inquiry is the current secular faith in knowledge and science, which he interprets as the modern incarnation of ancient Gnosticism. In essence we either put our faith in the mythologies of religion, or in the equally groundless belief that we can rise above our limitations through knowledge.   Gray neither affirms nor denies arguments for either side. Rather, he simply explores how civilizations both ancient and modern have approached them. The breadth of his sources is intimidating, and his style can be oblique to the point of obfuscation. But to the curious, he is eminently readable. You stay with him because you have to wonder...

Read More

Thinking and drinking…

In today’s world, critical thinking can get you branded as “elitist.”  A bit of irony, that, as thinking critically is the only way one could understand what a silly idea that is.  But one thing is certain, truly critical thinking will set you up for being alone, at least existentially.  At the very least, it can lead to desperation at times as you cast about for someone to understand you.  And it will certainly limit the satisfying conversation you can have over a bottle of whiskey....

Read More

Recent Comments